Polly The Pirate
Part Three - Polly the Pirate
Polly is at Pirate School,
She goes there everyday
She’s mad and bad and smelly
A perfect pirate in every way.
She’s top of the class at everything
She’s better than all the boys
It was no surprise when she won the Prize
For Making an Appalling Noise.
She’s good at Swords and Daggers
And can draw a mean Black Spot
But her very best thing, is to pick and fling
A great green ball of snot…
She cheats at tests, and bribes the swots
And poisons the school milk
To get best marks at Being Nice
Which is always difficult.
Yes Polly is a charmer,
The best Pirate in the ranks
She’d capture all the parents
And make them walk the plank
Now Polly’s in the school yard,
You really ought to meet her
She’s got grey hair and an eye patch
And a badge which says “Head Teacher�.
Colin the Cabin Boy
Continuing the Adventures of Sea Legs Ethel and The Sweaty Sock
Part Two: Colin the Cabin Boy
Colin is the cabin boy
aboard our Pirate boat,
It was his dream you see, to be off to sea
With the scurviest crew afloat…
Now, Colin is a terror
The worst of our motley mob
He can smell doubloons in a lead-lined room
So he’s just the lad for the job.
Yes Colin is light-fingered
With a heart like night is black
He once ran away with the Circus,
But his mum made him take it back.
Tho he be but a junior Pirate
He out-pirates all the rest
He can curse and spit and throw daggers
At his mateys from the high Crow’s Nest.
He’s got some horrible habits,
When the ghost-moon’s sailing the skies
He’ll howl in the dark with a fearsome bark
Maybe he’s a werewolf in disguise?
He’s really good at flicking snot,
He can flick to outer-space
But he ain’t got the hang of the changing winds
And he gets it back in the face.
Yes, he’s not the sort you’d bring back home
To meet your Mum and Dad
They’d be walking the plank in seconds
He’s a proper pirate lad.
But Colin is Ethel’s favourite,
He’s quite the Captain’s Pet
He brings her pipe and slippers
When the weather’s cold and wet.
Yes Colin is our Cabin Boy,
We think you know him true
If you just take a look in the mirror
Then Colin looks just like….you!
Sealegs Ethel and The Bar of Soap
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Sealegs Ethel is a pirate and she’s as cunning as any fox,
She’s made her home on the salty foam, in a ship called the Sweaty Sock.
She sails the ocean far from home, aboard with a pirate crew,
A scurvy bunch of sea dogs… just like me and you!
Now, Ethel has a liking, a taste for Pieces of Eight,
The flash of the moon on a Spanish doubloon will seal your watery fate.
Armed to the teeth she’ll order, “Fire cannons, one, two, three�,
And your ship will be taken for plunder and she’ll toast your toes for tea….
For Ethel is a clever lass, she’s been to Pirate school,
She learned her “Arrrs� from an old sea tar and she knows the Pirate Rules.
Free grog for all, each man one vote and for each a booty share,
No cheating at cards, no loaded dice and a bathtime twice a year.
But the crew turned pale at the thought of the tub, they’d avoid it if they could,
“Ye’ll walk the plank if ye don’t get in� cried Ethel scenting blood.
And in they stepped all sheepish, their faces drawn of hope,
There’s murderous cries and “curse yer eyes� as Ethel threw in the soap.
So, take a care upon the seas your fortune for to seek,
For the Sweaty Sock has changed her name, now that there is no reek,
She’s the sweetest smelling Pirate ship the Main has ever seen,
And Sealegs Ethel is her Captain and her crew is awfully clean.